The Royal Family

When all is said and done, the Burger King is way cooler than Ronald McDonald.

. . . and Forget It!

Normally I hate email forwards, but I received one that actually proved promising. It linked to a website that described the most amazing invention ever. Make sure to watch one of the videos near the bottom of the page. I can't even imagine the crazy things we would start painting on our walls.

Sometimes I play the video without watching it just to listen to the background music.

Harvey Keitel's Wife

Virginia Woolf would be a lot cooler if her last name had only one "O."

The Hellenic Republic

Why is it that some people insist on wearing shorts throughout the year despite the weather? Today was not what anybody would call warm, yet for whatever reason somebody showed up to lecture in shorts and a T-shirt.

Not only that, but he's an ass as well. Maybe wearing shorts all year long and being socially inept go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong.

The Eighth Wonder

It's nice to know that we at least accomplished something this weekend.

I hope constructing a beeramid is considered constructive.

Preferably Waxing

This morning the lecture hall in Ferguson smelled of deep-fried breakfast food.

I've been craving "Moons over My Hammy" ever since.

SuperAmerica

I wish I were still a student-athlete.

Not Spinal Traction

I'd like to take this opportunity to coin a new word: "backtractive." This refers to somebody who looks amazing from the back (e.g., good hair, nice figure), but you're not really sure how they look from the front. Imagine sitting in an enormous lecture hall where your eyes catch the most glorious girl you've ever seen. The only problem is that you have no idea what she actually looks like, as you're always behind her. You can now describe her as backtractive to your friends.

No Valhalla for Them

In the wake of the Minnesota Vikings' scandal, I think I'm going to start using the phrase "sex party" more frequently. Its contextual usage will be something along the lines of "the sex party that is [insert a noun or verbal noun here]." Let me provide an example.

I love posting incoherent ramblings on the sex party that is Blogger.

You Jane

I am now accepting donations to fund my purchase of the new iPod. It is so beautiful with its slim design and ability to play video. It would be a travesty to my technologically enhanced lifestyle not to have one.

The Lower Peninsula

Much like I would never drive after drinking, I think I might start hiding my cell phone once the beer begins to flow like wine. Apparently having to close one eye to properly focus on a text message still doesn't deter me from sending it.

Maybe I should just start wearing mittens all the time. It's probably pretty hard to type with only a thumb and one giant fingerish thing on each hand.

Have a Nice Trip

I hereby declare this the first officially beautiful weekend of fall. The colors, weather and scents finally all came together to give a complete autumn experience.

A Clear Soup or Bouillon

Would a professor accept my incoherent blog ramblings in lieu of a paper relating consumerism at the turn of the century to a discussion of the public sphere?

I thought not.

Was There a Lieutenant?

I love Chex Mix. Personally, I didn't think anything could top its amazing blend of crunch and seasoning. I was wrong.

Sitting on the end cap of the local grocery store was a "Limited Edition" version of my beloved Chex Mix; General Mills had concocted a salsa-flavored variety. In a taste competition, whatever seasonings they use to simulate the salsa flavor are a very close second only to homemade salsa.