Daily Finger Exercises

I enjoy working out because afterward it's that much easier to make "heavy breathing" phone calls to random women.

As we roll up the beach blankets and unroll the stadium blankets, it's safe to assume that summer has given way to fall. While we might ...

I'd again like to take this moment to quote the lyrics to my new favorite song. "Who says you can't go home?"

Behold, my dear readers, the most amazing calf you shall ever see. Marvel at its definition. Gaze upon its subtle tan. Lose yourself in its ...

Dear Homeless People, Although I don't believe in you [much like foolish people don't believe in Santa Claus ], I feel the need to c...

I would love to have been a fly on the wall during whatever meeting birthed this unholy demon of a strip mall. I imagine it went something l...

Now that my résumé has been perfected, it must embark on a dangerous journey around the world. In 80 days or fewer, I can only hope that m...