Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I'm All Man, Lady!

A good friend once told me that everybody has a superpower. As I have never taken classes at the Xavier Mansion, retreated to a Fortress of Solitude nor slung webs in New York City, I was hesitant to believe him. Recent events, however, have stirred within me the desire to construct a costume and secret identity for myself.

Quite simply, I have the power to cause people near me to make out with each other.

Before you all start commenting on how f-in' awesome that is, consider the following shortcomings of this gift.
  1. It has not influenced others to lock lips with me.
  2. It causes my bar patrons to wear out their welcome as they fondle each other well past last call.
  3. It has not yet been successful in influencing girl-on-girl action.
I simply must learn to control this power. Only by harnessing my raw sexual energy can I ever hope to save the cheerleader . . . and also the world.

1 comment:

Mikey B said...

Dude....Quit complaining!

...You have a Superpower to perfect.

Now get busy and perfect those powers , so the next time that I hang out with you I can watch others make out around me as an "extra entertainment".