Mr. Wheelchair Crackhead of Hennepin Avenue

Despite the world-renowned status of my blog, I've not yet let the fame go to my head. I still enjoy perusing reader-posted comments . . . or fan mail, as I like to call it. Thus, given this piece of constructive criticism, I have decided to appease my raving fans by giving them what they want.

Therefore, without further ado, I present a Bud Light salute to wheelchair crackheads of Hennepin Avenue.

Bud Light presents, "Real Men of Genius."
"Real Men of Genius."
Today we salute you, Mr. Wheelchair Crackhead of Hennepin Avenue.
Mr. Wheelchair Crackhead of Hennepin Avenue.
Although you're in a wheelchair, you haven't given up on your legs yet by still letting them drag on the ground as you roll along.
Those boots were made for dragging.
Laughing in the face of danger, you rebelliously ride with your footrests in their improper position.
A modern day James Dean.
You've given up on reaching for the stars and instead keep both feet semi-firmly planted on the ground.
Your life is hopeless.
While others wince at the friction-filled contact between the asphalt and your shoes, you merely smile a mostly-toothless grin and think, "Damn. That's some good crack."
It's a helluva drug.
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, you waste of taxpayers' money, because you're too good for malt liquor.
Mr. Wheelchair Crackhead of Hennepin Avenue.
Bud Light Beer. Anheuser-Busch. St. Louis, Missouri.

Stay tuned [but not really] for an upcoming salute to Mr. Ridiculously Useless Blog Maker.